I miss writing poems... that''s why, being back in a sort of poetic mood, I'm trying to write new ones. Hope you like this one...
Opened eyes see only darkness...
Just-awake mind in shock.
Hands try to find a wall
But legs are in a lock.
Falling down on a strange floor,
The bare body begins to sweat.
Heart is burning at the core
The ground is cold and wet.
The mind screams,
But the throat is parched and dry.
Tears flow out of the eye.
I stagger to my feet, they crumble again
I give up, bowing in to the pain.
Just yesterday, I was walking in the sun
Now, I feel only a rain
of tears.
My hands dragging me, I crawl.
I will be dead if I give up,
So I must continue the haul.
I will find a door, I will find a wall.
Is this what blindness feels?
Is this what death seals?
I try to shake the thought
But fail to find what I sought...
I am lost, in a dark universe,
Without wall, sky, door or life,
It is but a behemoth hearse.
The water beneath me is still,
My heart has stopped flowing.
The sky above is starless,
And so is the world,
To my unseeing eyes.
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Extremely well written. I can actually feel the despair of a claustrophobic.
ReplyDeleteLike I said before, not your best work, dude. I don't know perhaps you lack the skills required to write what you call 'sad' poems. It does not leave an impression of 'being there' in the mind of the reader, if you can understand what I mean. But You can improve and likewise keep trying out poems with different emotions in them, I know you'll improve.
ReplyDeleteI liked it :)
ReplyDeleteBut then again I like everything...