Line one sets the music, chime
Line two just has to rhyme
Lines three and four
Are the heart and core
Of line five's near-perfect time!
I rather think that my limericks may have witnessed a decline in quality lately... I think there are two reasons for this:
1) I dont think about limericks that often nowadays. I think about movies, studies and such stuff. The number of limerick posts on my blog has decreased too.
2) A little technical: I used to "begin" a limerick with the last line. Now I begin with the first line. The last line has the fun, and a good first line may not develop into a good last line. Maybe that is why quality has declined. I am not satisfied with myself, and I am going to try and improve. :-) Thanks for the patience.
Infomercial
Look what, today, we have to sell
It's a perfume that'll refresh your smell
It's imported, genuine
It's fresh and fine
Buy it, dear, turn into an angel!
Morality
The rabbit was caught eating a rat
Two more mice were found in his hat
Finally, he confessed
With gloomy chest
That he had been bribed by a cat!
OK, Now two two-liners...
English Class
You have to be mighty thickins
To think of Chaplin when reading Dickens
Reflection on Cricket
How it is possible, I do not know
To hit the stumps, but not throw.
That's all for now... do comment. Nest post will continue with my movie series. :-)
I know your limericks do not seem to have the old flavour anymore; maybe that's because you might be considering developing a grip over different forms of poetry. That's good and is also necessary but you should not deviate fom your core stregnth. The limericks which are not funny don't seem to strike a chord with me. Charmaine once suggested that yu should try your hand at Haiku. Do it and look up other forms of poety too. I'd like to see you develop yourself into a good poet and no just an amateur.
ReplyDeleteI liked the first limerick-the one on limericks. Damn nice.
ReplyDeleteThe two-liners-oh well, keep trying..u'll get another masterpiece soon.
Yeah! Try haiku :) But I do love your lims so don't forget them
ReplyDeleteHaiku is tricky
But it pays off in the end
Random thoughts, profound!
(translation: Haiku is worth the effort coz even the most random thoughts sound... philosophical and deep Lol!)
I like the first limerick, one of your best yet ^^
ReplyDeleteOne thing you might want to watch is your rhythm. The informercial one is really funny (at least to me), but there are a couple pares you might want to consider. Try reading the unedited version, then this version, only *slightly* cut and edited:
~~~
Look what, today, we have to sell!
It's a perfume that'll refresh your smell!
It's imported, genuine,
Fresh and fine;
If you don't buy it, go to hell! (strikeout)
Buy it, dearie, be an angel!
~~~~~~~
By removing "It's" in line 3 the poem rolls along well, and the "turn into an angel" just seemed a little awkward, so making a little switch-up there helped the punchline.
As for the quality of your limericks, I actually think you're exaggerating the decline in quality a little (though there *have* been less limericks); I don't think it's been that severe. For your limericks, I think the rhythm is what you should focus on when you edit; your ideas and timing are fine, I rather like most of your concepts ^^