29 September, 2006

Gnawing at life

OK, Here's a short poem inspired by something that happened today. :-)

Gnawing at life

Father complained at last
Trying to break his fast
Tried the bread, but alas
Only Gums cannot chew.

Cried for some softer food
Might lighten his mood
Can't have any fued
With something you chew.

Hunger is hard to endure
Further, it has no cure
When you're without a denture
Everything seems hard to chew.

But you have to chew
To live.

Notice that the third line ends with a word that rhymes only partially with the first two lines. That's deliberate. Hope you like it, it's only a 15 minute effort. :D Do comment.
Edit: I changed the first two lines a bit, ommiting "His", and "He"... I hope that has a nice effect. :-)

3 comments:

  1. Cool effort, considering the fact that it was put together in 15 mins.
    The odd rhyme in the lines creates a nice effect, something that is different from what I have seen, until now. Continue with the innovations, buddy, pushing the envelope and taking poetry where it has never been before.......( Wow! I am really good at flattery. And guess what? I outshine with every comment! Notice I am a bit of a narcissist too! )

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  2. The start reminds me of Carroll's Father William.

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  3. I love it! It's very cool, I like the effect of the rhymes it's very... silly children's poem (that's a compliment, I promise)

    Lol! Yeah, it is very "Father William"!

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