The Limericker

Cracker Rage

noreply@blogger.com (AnoNick) — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 08:36:00 +0000

Usually I am woken up from my deep late-morning slumber by the hunger pangs which strike at exactly 12:30, or whenever my messed-up biological clock thinks it's 12:30. Not so today. There is some heavy firing going on in my own backyard, and it doesn't let off for a whole fucking minute. I don't remember dreaming about India and Pakistan going to war, but it feels like I'm hiding in a bunker. My shifty imagination thinks of air-raids one moment, and terrorists the next. Or maybe air-raids by terrorists. The clock shows 11:30. I grab my pillow and put it over my head, as if that is going to make it any better. It probably would if I had the heart to choke myself to death.

It isn't war or terrorists, of course. I wish it was, it would give my conscience less sleepless nights if I shot those bastards. This is just the neighbourhood kids celebrating the festival of lights, nay, sounds, nay, noises. I wonder who gave them the idea that piercing people's eardrums was the way to moksha. And I wish they'd look for other places to attain that than my backyard. Well, not my backyard, but the inverse square law seems to have little effect. Not been a minute since the chain-cracker stopped. Now they're bursting what we fittingly call 'atom bombs'. The name doesn't convey one per-cent of the acoustic atrocity that these devils are. One burst every thirty seconds, now, unless I have lost my sense of time.

I think a hundred of those go off before my mental jurors reach a consensus. It's 12-0 for 'Go For The Gun'. I get up, open the drawer by the side of my bed and get my revolver out of it. Where the heck did I put those bullets? How could I misplace bullets? Well, record has shown I can misplace anything, and it should've been a pleasant surprise finding the gun the first place I looked. I open the barrel and look. One Bullet In Barrel. Well. A day the jury can vote 12-0, anything can happen.

I go over to the window and point my gun. Well, actually, I hide behind the curtains and take aim. The kid is about to burst the last fucking bomb he ever will. He strikes a match, smiles out of excitement, and the jury is back in the chamber. Let them be. His hand reaches for the firecracker, and that would set off an irreversible chain of events wherein the final consequence would be temporary deafness for six months for everybody in the neighbourhood. I pull the catch. It's a dirty, dirty job, but someone's got to do it. Bang!

Hah. Hah. Hah. The kid never knew what went wrong. One moment the cracker's string was there waiting to be lit, and the next: no string! I wont brag, but the string was as cleanly chopped off as if I had been there with a knife... Huh. That never occured to me. That's a fucking simpler way to chop off the fucking strings, isn't it? Chop them off with a knife. Or scissors. Less noisy too, and god knows I hate noises. One less bullet-hole in the ground too, but I think the kid overlooked that in his tremor as he ran away. The end result, however, is one less kid growing up with a topsy-turvy idea of what constitutes joie de vivre. Mission accomplished. Flash smile to camera, and return to bed.

Some comeback limericks

noreply@blogger.com (AnoNick) — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 16:44:00 +0000

Anne sent me a limerick a long time back:

There was once a time when books slowly dwindled,
Bibliophiles everywhere felt nothing but swindled,
They wanted their books,
By hook or my crook,
But alas, in the end, all of them Kindled!

Which did inspire me to a reply...

The creation of Kindle is but another sign,
That everything else being idiotic, asinine,
Writing shall live on,
Or keep being reborn,
As epaper, Gutenberg, or blogs on-line!

And here are two about computer addiction:

I open my laptop and start wondering what
I should now type in the address bar slot,
Waste my time, and uncycle,
Or old limericks recycle?
But I just stare and the screen and do naught.

For now, I say, I shall stay with just chatting,
Maybe later I shall play online, combating,
And as I ignore my study,
And (the rare) offline buddy,
In the next exam, I will end up splatting!

Depressing, eh? True. But today I've got variety for you. :D (And that rhymed!)

There was once an exam in College Streets,
Everyone copied, and handed in the sheets,

When the teacher spotted it,

He promptly went into a fit,

"If you copy, do copy not John Doe, but Keats!"

Now, A limerick-poem:

Attack of the Troll

A simple forum disrupted, treated with scorn,

On youtube whether it's movie, song or porn,

Or an odd post on your blog,

Suddenly invaded by a hog

Welcome the troll, who's blowing his/her horn!

Whatever you wrote, was it well founded/checked?

Why did, if so, your world-lines intersect?

They'll stumble onto any small

Mistake on your Webwall,

And chastise you for being too politically correct!

What will you do now to gain a little traction?

And save all your posts, or the remaining fraction,

Just click the brain's 'ignore' switch,

Or maybe ban that revolting snitch,

Or just fart in the what-not's general direction!

Do comment. :)

The Physics of MRI

noreply@blogger.com (AnoNick) — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 11:38:00 +0000

I had a discussion with Saskia a looong time back about MRI, and I learnt a little about how MRI machines work, in the process. Anne encouraged me to blog on this new-found knowledge, and after a LOT of procrastination, I've finally managed it. Hope you like it: it's layman level, and not too badly written (I hope).

Here it is: The Physics of MRI

If you find any faults, or find some section unclear, or have any critcisms at all (even positive ones ;-) ), do comment.

Death Knocks Thrice

noreply@blogger.com (AnoNick) — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 18:37:00 +0000

Inspired by Woody Allen's excellent Death Knocks.

Death Knocks Thrice

By Anonick.

Science Journalism

noreply@blogger.com (AnoNick) — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 09:33:00 +0000

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/men_shealth/5426895/Men-live-longer-if-they-marry-a-younger-woman.html

I wonder how many journalists bunked the class when they were taught "correlation != causation".

The Dot Song

noreply@blogger.com (AnoNick) — Sun, 26 Apr 2009 11:12:00 +0000

The Idea originated when Anne put Paul Klee's quote as her status message, and I came up with my line. Then I thought, why not start a meme and ask everyone to contribute the same kind of line. We got a lot of enthusiasm going for the thing, and the lines are brilliant. :)

So, here it is:

The Dot Song

A line is a dot that went for a walk.

- Paul Klee (contributed by Bimal Bharath)

A curve is a dot that flew like a hawk.

- Rahul "Anonick" Dandekar

An icosahedron is a dot that didn't know where to stop.

- Madhura Rane

A scribble is a dot not knowing what it sought.

- Anisha "Anne" Zaveri

A circle is a dot that just goes round and round,

A coil is a dot that keeps getting wound.

-Adi Sengupta

An exclamation is a dot with an erection.

-Bimal Bharath

An asterisk is a dot with hair.

-Srikanth Viswanathan

A Buckyball is a dot that was out there to shop.

-Shatabdi "Express" Chowdhury

A doodle is a dot that dances a lot.

-Rahul "Anonick" Dandekar

A colon is a dot who found true love.

-Siddharth "Sid" Joshi

A knot is a dot that lost it's path.

(disclaimer: in a closed space)

-Ravitej U.

A star is a dot that's really really hot.

-Adi Sengupta

A tittle is a dot.

-Anandi Rajan

Z is a dot after too many drinks.

-Shivam Gupta

A bot is a dot, out of silicon wrought.

-Preyas P.

A semicolon is a dot taking a dump.

-Ranaji Deb

A division sign is a dot looking at the mirror in vain,

A curl is a dot that had too much champagne.

-Anisha "Anne" Zaveri

A comet is a dot with a wild streak.

-Nikita Mehra

A shooting star is a dot that can't be caught.

-Shatabdi "Express" Chowdhury

A squiggle is a dot that lost the plot

-Nikita Mehra

An O is a dot yawning.

-Bimal Bharath

A bulls eye is dot that is tough to spot.

-Preyas P.

A fuzzball is a dot with goosebumps.

-Rajani Rajan

A double helix is a dot that is entangled and can't get out.

-Anandi Rajan

A dot is not what you and I thought.

-Achal Agarwal

A dot is a dot is a dot.

-Nikhil Karthik (A Gertrude Stein reference)

(Period)

An ODE to Radioactivity

noreply@blogger.com (AnoNick) — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 11:00:00 +0000

One fine day, the century before last,
Henry, a Becquerel, found himself aghast.
The photofilm that he hath so carefully shielded,
To some mysterious radiation had somehow yielded!

But he could protect it, he found, with some layers of lead,
The scientist began to think himself not too right in the head.
The clue lay in an adjoining drawer, a salt of the rare uranium,
Bequerel, satisfied to the core, thanked profusely his cranium.

Scientists soon pounced on the element, and happily played,
It emitted three rays, it seemed, and the emission decayed.
The three types were then baptised, alpha-beta-gamma.
Alpha was the heavyweight, but gamma did the harm-a.
(The radiation, though exciting, was indeed damaging,
Not all the researchers met their deaths by aging.)

The part of radioactivity that's most weighty
Is that you can write a very simple O D E
Although you have to reason a little bit
About the atoms per unit time go oblit.

It's random, jumbled, funbled, culled,
Poisson being the god of that world.
But watch! If there be more atoms,
More must undergo the swat-ems.
If there're fewer for the guillotine
Fewer than previous 'll be keen.

We lay down a new Law this day,
A law that decaying atoms obey.
The number that goes kaboom,
Every fleeting second of doom,
Is proportional to it's brethen,
The number that sec breathin.

And thus, more to see them,
Means more to disappear,
And The Law so ordained,
Is an exponential - swear.

And thus, the atoms die,
One after another, sigh,
Often the offsprings,
Atoms so produced
Decay themselves,
A Little bemused.

But in the end,
Every single
One mingles
With dust.

Or Strong

Ol' Lead.

The end

result.

A first try @ Posterous

noreply@blogger.com (AnoNick) — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 08:16:00 +0000

Posterous is a great site for posting anything to your blog via email... try it out! Videos, mp3s, whatnot, are hosted at posterous, for free! So, here I go, with one of my favourite (marathi) songs, and one of my own stories. Hopefully this'll work! :)

Download now or preview on posterous

Reject_s_Club.pdf (49 KB)

Download now or listen on posterous

shukra.mp3 (6267 KB)

Posted via email from anonick's posterous

Science, God and Hinduism

noreply@blogger.com (AnoNick) — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 13:59:00 +0000

Note: Long Post. When I say long, I mean long. But sadly, there is no getting around the necessity of a long post on such a deep subject. You deserve an apology.

Sigh, I know what you're thinking. But given my inclination towards philosophy, atheism and, well, science obviously, this one was in the coming for years, at least. So, why now? Well, this post on Anne's blog, and the ensuing discussion below it.

Well, me being an atheist, you know what viewpoint to expect. I just want to be clear that I don't mean to insult anyone. If I do, I'm sorry. (Yeah, I'm writing this before writing the post. It, ehm, might get rough.) If I commit ad hominem or create men out of strings straw, do point it out though.

Enter, stage West

I have read, and debated, a lot about the concept of God in Western civilisation. It all comes down to one thing: The concept of God is what you should take on faith. It is your personal choice. A lot of people might agree with you, but that does not make it less personal, or truer. The email that inspired Anne's post comes from this worldview, but counters by saying that if God is to be taken on faith, so is Science. (Sorry, if I capitalise God but not Science, all my physics Physics books will spring to life and kill me.)

Anne and I begged to differ, of course. The scientific method is a tested and sensible way to develop models of the world. Models which "work", and by work I mean, they are predictive and have be tested in experiments which are repeatable. More can be found at Anne's post, but I wanted to repeat this because we'll need it below. Of course, there are subtleties, and loads of them, in Philosophy of Science. But, in the final analysis, it makes sense, is self-consistent, and works. By works, I mean, you can apply it to the real world. Here I'm quietly assuming a realist philosophy, but please, lets stay with that.

The concept of God (still in the west here) does not predict any observable phenomenon which does not have a valid scientific explanation. God does not lead to many testable, repeatable predictions, of course. (But see prayer.) Besides, the concept of a real true existent God (still in the West here) conflicts with what is the current state of knowledge in Cosmology.

Stage Centre: Science

How do I view Scientific knowledge as a whole? I think all Science has are models, but they lead to testable predictions which have been tested, and although issues like theory-ladenness, underdetermination, the demarcation problem, etc crop up, I think the fact that my hard drive is currently using GMR, and that our satellites have to apply GR corrections, leads me to be pretty confident that even some the most esoteric of today's theories, which have been built on a foundation of older ones, have a direct connection to reality. We may hypothesise about infinite "fields" in four dimensions, but face it, we can accurately predict cross-sections that we actually observe in our backyard accelerators. Science is not just self-consistent, it's held to reality at many, many points by strong connecting wires. You just cannot argue that I take Electric Fields on faith, because every testable prediction made by Maxwell's equations has been borne out.

See, there are theories, and there are the predictions the theories make. You are free to argue with me that Electric and Magnetic fields do not exist, but if you say that an electron placed in a cyclotron will not behave exactly the way my theory of "electromagnetic fields" says it will, I will punch you in the face. I have never observed a magnetic field, and I know I cannot. But if I assume that there exists a "electromagnetic field" which obeys certain "equations" I hypothesise, maybe out of thin air, and if I indicate every point my theory connects to experiment, and if every experiment has agreed with me, you just cannot say I'm taking my theory on faith. Please.

Eastward Drift

And it is here that we enter the Eastern religions. Specifically, those of India. Now I confess at the beginning that I do not know much about Indian religious philosophy. So there are probably many objections you can raise. I will skirt around the actual topics that I know nothing about, and hopefully some of the commenters might illuminate them.

I want to be very clear about my points at the start. A human being cannot live without food. People cannot defy the laws of gravity by pure thought. And finally, today's science is not rediscovering what Indian mystics had discovered thousands of years ago.

[Of course, when I say "Indian religion", I actually mean "Ancient Indian Philosophy". Thanks to Wanderer's comment on Anne's blog, I googled for ancient Indian views on Physics, and I have taken the help of three such links to write the following: One, Two and Three. Actually, just the first two. The third one is laughably silly.]

About not being able to live without food: sadly, the myriad such cases in India are very poorly documented, and the bastardised version of such "practices" in the west is very silly indeed. I cannot give any criticism to this except vouching for common sense. Same for levitation, which I guess is held indoors in secret clubs throughout the subcontinent, because I haven't seen anyone not claiming to be a magician do it yet, and neither has anyone I know. And here I vouch for more than just common sense: I vouch for Schwarzschild, the graviton, and the derivative of the Einstein-Hilbert action with respect to the metric.

A little note about the "Law of Karma": I cannot find a lucid enough explanation of it. Will someone in the comments please enlighten me?

And now for what people claim the ancients knew of Physics. Firstly, let us define two things: Knowledge, and Philosophy. (As I said earlier, I'll be a realist throughout the post.) I'll define Knowledge to be a human conceptual model which accurately represents the "real" world. (I knew philosophers will sneer as that statement and use it for coffee table jokes. For them, I'll define knowledge as the set of all Justified True Beliefs. I'm not a philosopher, mind you, so please refrain from insults and enlighten me in the comments.) Now, let us define Philosophy. It is the set of all human conceptual models. Knowledge is then a subset of Philosophy.

I ask the question: Are the Physics ideas in Ancient Indian texts knowledge or philosophy? Hmm... how we can test if something is knowledge?

One way would be to compare it to existing scientific ideas: here many of statements of Hindu philosophy seem to make sense. But I claim it's all a matter of interpretation. Let's see:

(From link one)
Other universes/wormholes. I saw within [the] rock [at the edge of the universe] the creation, sustenance and the dissolution of the universe... I saw innumerable creations in the very many rocks that I found on the hill. In some of these creation was just beginning, others were populated by humans, still others were far ahead in the passage of their times. [6.2.86]

It's easy to interpret this as the idea of a multiverse (I don't know where he got the wormhole from). But this isn't exactly scientific fact: Physicists are still debating how useful and observable the idea of a multiverse can be, and even though the idea of wormholes connecting different universes might explain some stuff, but no wormholes have yet been observed. Indeed, to travel between universes is almost impossible for human beings. You can object that we haven't yet attained the knowledge that the ancients had, but then I say, they should've given the recipe for inter-universe or wormhole travel too, if they actually knew it (a la Contact).

You can also object that this may just be ancient science fiction. But I object. The presence of science is required for science fiction. I'll come back to this below in the "third way".

A second way to test if something is knowledge is to look for how people arrived at it. The ancients arrived at their philosophy through pure thought, it is claimed (by Raj). Now, although it might be claimed that I'm adopting a modern western viewpoint which is unfit here, I think that knowledge can only be ascertained through experiment. Even the General Theory of Relativity was philosophy until Eddington's legendary experiment in 1919. (Not totally, though. See below.) I find no evidence that the ancients tested, or could test, their "preliminary ideas of gravity" or even those of wormholes.

Besides, there is no evidence that they actually had mathematical equations to accompany their concepts. In the absence of such equations, concepts cannot graduate to knowledge, simply because they have no predictive power. In the spirit of thinking big, Indians came up with their grand conceptions, but they were not based upon reality neither were they tested to see if they agreed with it. They were concepts, pure and simple. They may have been accurate, and I do not claim that there aren't passages where the conceptions sound disturbingly modern, and I do not claim that this isn't a matter of chance. What I claim is, without mathematics and without experimentation, these concepts are philosophical constructs. Philosophy too aims for knowledge. It results in the birth of science. Indian Philosophy is deep and beautiful. But there was no effort made for it to be "true", in our modern scientific sense.

The third way is to analyse a philosophical system and look for where the concepts behind the statements. In Indian Philosophy, we do not find any reference to basic Quantum Mechanical ideas, or to the constancy of the speed of light, or to the spacetime ideas of general relativity. We do not find any reference to knowledge of the nucleus which corresponds to modern ideas; we find references to "worlds within the atoms". In the light of this, I claim, that we should classify the references to "A single projectile charged with all the power in the Universe", or to the multiverse ideas mentioned earlier, as philosophical fantasy, not science fiction. One cannot get to the concept of wormholes without having basic notions of GR. One cannot have nuclear weapons without knowing about the nucleus and its constituents.

I said earlier that I might be accused of taking a Western view when analysing Eastern philosophy, which I did. But common sense tells us that knowledge has to be compared with experience. It has to work. Almost by definition, it has to "be" out there. Science is a very complex process. Theories are built on top of each other. One cannot get to the peak without climbing the mountain, or without your ancestors having formed theories of aerodynamics which allowed you to built flying machines which operated on those experimentally verified principles, and allowed you to get to the peak. Einstein's GR was an accepted theory in the scientific world even before 1919 because it was a generalisation of the experimentally verified SR, and it reduced accurately to Newton in the sensible limit.

Exit: stage East

In conclusion, even if the Ancients had aquired their knowledge differently than experiment, the lack of mathematical expression for it, and the impossibility of putting the cart before the horse in science leads me to be a little skeptical when anyone classifies their philosophy are knowledge.

What about the Idea of God, which we began with? Disregarding the actual prevalent theological ideas in Ancient India (God, Demons, Heaven, Hell and Earth), even if we think of the Sages as thinking God was one with the universe, of him being above, beyond and in time and space, one can only speak of the God as a philosophical construct. Thus, even God in Hindu philosophy is subjective. (That said, not all philosophical constructs are subjective. But there is much more scope for differing concepts in Philosophy then in Science.)

By the way, if you came so far (without scrolling down quickly too much), you deserve a thanks.

Stuck in a shell

noreply@blogger.com (AnoNick) — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 08:32:00 +0000

Physicsy poem... It mostly requires just a basic knowledge of atoms. I wrote it when I was bored in class. :)

Here it is...

Stuck in a shell

2n^2 - 1 electrons enjoying universality,
Were looking for a partner to complete orbitality,
They'd soon done a hole-in-one
A spin-down guy with mass 511
But they did not foresee reversal of parity!

"Oh crap," said one, "now our beloved shell,
Once bosonic, is under Fermi's spell.
To get back the fun,
One must transition,
But who it must be, how can we tell?"

"Life in a complete shell is anyway dull,
One of our number will thus, surely, cull."
And there was a bump,
As one tried to jump,
From this to the n+1 orbital.

But he came back, not losing any Joules,
And cried, "All of us, are silly fools!"
We are stuck with this n,
For if we jump, then,
We'll violate nature's selection rules!"

And they had learned to live with fight and bout,
When a photon came leapin' and knocked one out.

- Anonick

N.B.: "Selection rules" are rules which forbid transitions between certain levels in atoms.

Limericks, again!

noreply@blogger.com (AnoNick) — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 13:38:00 +0000

After a break of... I have stopped keeping count :( ... here are some lims I made up with Charmaine in a conversation a few days ago.

This needs context: Charmaine's status message was "speak only if you can entertain"... and limericks are the only way in which I can, really ;) ... so, here are the limericks that passed to and fro in the conversation:

there was a girl who, tongue-in-cheek
whenever bored, would entertainment seek
she told her friends
do make amends
and only if you can entertain, speak!

(some conversation)

Me again (a quartet):

and now that you have, she spake
do keep me entertained, for heaven's sake
or stop wasting my precious time
and go away, offline, invisible, you slime!

Charmaine:

it's good i don't have to explain
you're only here to entartain
you're wasting my time
when you don't rhyme
and even then half the time you're so lame!

Me:

and now that I have to keep this up
I have to keep making up, making up
and the road I choose
to avoid the noose
is to use my cup to fill up my cup!

(ie, writing about writing to entertain, sigh, metaphor)

(conversation, and then bye-byes...)

Tell me you liked them! :)

A Birthday Cake

noreply@blogger.com (AnoNick) — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 05:02:00 +0000

Head over to Amar's to see the cake I cut at midnight on my birthday! It was a very special birthday, this (and not least because of the Einstein! :D ) .

'On Dentists': A Tribute to Jerome

noreply@blogger.com (AnoNick) — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 04:00:00 +0000

Note: This essay is my tribute to the style and humour of Jerome K. Jerome, who is my favourite humourist. :) Do comment.

On Dentists

A lot is thought of dentists, mainly because they let you do nothing else while you are sitting on their couch and they are running a carpenter's workshop in your mouth. Sadly, not all that is thought is fit to be presented on paper, but I gather that dentists save the skin of our teeth, we ought to give them credit for atleast a few escapades we've all had in our young days.

I myself dislike dentists, but that's mainly because I don't take care of my teeth too much, and everyone hates an admonition. But I can't bear a toothache, and I have to run to one (a dentist, not a toothache) every time it starts paining so awfully.

“Oh, Mr. __, you see, you have two bad molars there.”

“Oh, is it?”

“Yes, and the plaque has gotten to your nerves there.”

“It sure has, Doc.”

“No, I mean... I mean, there are only two things you can do. You can have those teeth removed, or you can do a root canal operation on them.”

“What's a root canal?” The word is rather pornographic.

“It's a rather complicated procedure wherein we remove the nerves in your teeth, and...”

“Remove the nerves. Good riddance. I say, remove all of them in any teeth I have!”

I don't get the point of nerves in teeth, I don't. Why should a rock have nerves? Besides, all those little nerve-endings feel and pain and heat and cold. I don't know what the creator was thinking when he ordained that all teeth, tiny or big, molar or incisor, canine or human, should have those nerves in them. The only purpose they serve is letting us know when our tooth is in the final throes of it's existence.

And boy! Do they let us know? They could be subtle (the nerves, not the teeth), and maybe silently whisper in our ears to give tooth number this-and-this a decent burial. But no, they have to scream it in our head. You know how hard it is to concentrate when a beeper is going off? I once walked into a building where such a beeper was proclaiming the existence of what claimed to be a serious fire raging through the top floor and about to destroy the whole structure.

I knew of these things, and ignored the warning. But the guard who I walked up to was quite nervous and looked concerned, and there was pandemonium all round him.

“Is it a new alarm?” I asked him.

“Yes, sir, installed just four days prior.” He said beaming, while another gaurd tried to run behind him and got caught in his own legs.”

“Why is it wailing, the poor soul?” (The gaurd, not the alarm.)

“Oh, he joined just yesterday. He's not quite used to these things.” He answered as the guard got up and tried to jump over his head (Not his own head, you see, but that of the man I was talking to.)

“So, this isn't serious?” I screamed as I put the earplugs I gave in my ears.

“Oh, no Sir. If it were, this building would have burnt to the ground a thousand times over in the last four days.”

They are a real serious problem, these alarms. Our nerves could, if they wished, periodically sound an alarm to the brain, asking to to notice untoward behavious amongst the teeth. But to scream like that and try to put our brains on 24-hour tooth decay alerts. Gosh, those misbehaving nerves. I myself would be pleased with a set of plastic teeth any day instead of these bone-and-enamel ones we have gotten, if it weren't for the unfortunate fact that pulling a teeth our gives you the experience of what a concentration camp would be like.

It's quite painful, that moment where your teeth get pulled out. Or so I hear, because whenever my dentist presents the two options to me, I always go for the lesser evil of root canal. Put I hear that the lack of grace with which a dentist pulls out his teeth would make a carpenter shudder. They're regular carpenters, these dentists. I have been convinced that there is a carpentry class in every dentist colleges, with their miniature drills and little screws.

I was once on the dentist's couch while another patient was being treated by his assistant on another couch. My guy was pretty busy making holes in my teeth (which, by the by, he promised he would fill later), while all of a sudden, I heard a crash followed by a loud cry followed by the name of the lord uttered in vain enough times to make a pious man's heart explode. My guy ran to the other couch, and I heard bits of the conversation, the only printable one of them being: “Atleast now you know you don't need root canal, Mr. __ .” Then my dentist came back to me and told me that his assistant had slipped while drilling into a molar of Mr. __, and the drill was of no use anymore, it now having a tooth attached to it. I feel sorry for him, but Mr. __ finally calmed down and took the tooth home as a sovenier. My dentist afterwards assured me that accidents happen only rarely in dentist's clinics, and I believe it.

That is because dentists, I daresay, are also artists. The minute you open your mouth these skilled sculptors start looking for imperfections, blemishes, and proportions, and would love you to come again some other time and let them turn your 32-set into a marvel that would challenge the 32-piece chess sets of ancient Chinese emperors. The minute they begin drilling, you know that they are only trying to correct, modify and put away all the accumulated sins of your teeth, and give them a fine shape as they were they day they were born.

But they love to see a perfect model like any painter does. Hence, dear reader, let us brush and floss and mouthwash and brush once more, so that the next time you see your dentist, you'll not be the only one showing all your teeth.

Iambic Limericks

noreply@blogger.com (AnoNick) — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 14:07:00 +0000

I basically wrote these to practice the iambic pentameter (my regular readers will know that I don't know any metre... but I'm learning, learning, from Stephen's Fry witty and awesome "The Ode Less Travelled".)

(The middle two lines will, of course, be iambic trimeter.)

(And, I know normal limericks don't use iambs.These are just for practice. :) )

There was a clever girl from Kentucky
But ending with line two is not lucky
I write three more of them
Her name begins with M
I never knew more, she was too plucky!

My love, like light, but slow, descends on me
But I, nerdy, start feeling too physicsy
It does not slow, the light
Has constant time for flight
Be one too drunk, frenzied, despo or sexy!

I knew a potter living in a street
He'd make his pots with newly washen feet
But soon numerous fans
Discovered that ol' Hans
Often made them, employing both the hands!

The third one uses a phyrric substitution, and has an aabbb scheme... I know! ;)

Tell me if you like them! I'm writing lims after a loooong time! :D

The Largest, but not the Greatest

noreply@blogger.com (AnoNick) — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 18:02:00 +0000

Before we elect our parliament, we don't know who will be the Prime Minister.

Who is this Ashok Chavan, and who knew him day before yesterday? How many people voted for him so that he would become CM?

All I want is transparency. High Command, fuck you.

It Could Happen to You (A new Story)

noreply@blogger.com (AnoNick) — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 16:44:00 +0000

I personally think I'm getting better at this humourous-story business. But I'd like your feedback. Do comment. :)

http://anonicker.googlepages.com/itcouldhappentoyou

Happy birthday poem, a new one

noreply@blogger.com (AnoNick) — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 18:14:00 +0000

Lol, actually a completely different poem. But, here you go... written by me, drawn by Charmaine. Her drawings are, as always, supercute :D (especially the marriage slide), and sometimes undeservedly sarcastic of my poetry ;). But she draws really well, don't you agree? Do comment!

To Laugh or to Cry

noreply@blogger.com (AnoNick) — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 07:05:00 +0000

Politicians unite for launch of RGV film

01 December, 2008

Top party rubber of the "ruling" "party" the Congress, the BJP and of numerous other wannabe parties united today for the launch of Ram Gopal Varma's forthcoming film on the 26/11 terrorist strikes in Mumbai, simply titled "27/11". On the podium together were seen former(?) Maharashtra CM Vilasrao Deshmukh (VD), The Honourable Prime Minister Manmohan Singh (MMS), A faceless lady in a black saree (SG, also known as High Command), wannabe PM L. K. Advani (LKA) and of course, Ram Gopal Varma (RGV, what else?), producer, director, and writer of the as-yet unwritten movie.

After breaking of a coconut model of the Taj Hotel, the "leaders" fielded questions from the reporters.

"Why did the former Dy. CM R. R. Patil not come to the ceremony?"
VD: "He did not want to come to such an insignificant event. Bade bade industries mein chhoti chhoti filmein banti rehti hain."

"Why did you think of making this film?"
RGV: "26/11 is a socially important issue, the public needs to know about what went on in the minds of the terrorists. It is an issue that needs to be handled sensitively you see, and that is why, as soon as I heard the news, I went to the CM's office and requested a tour of the Taj immediately. I hoped to get there before all the dead bodies were cleared."

"Why the name 27/11?"
RGV: "The numerologists we consulted said that 26/11 was too inauspicious a title. You see, 2+6+11 = 19, while this is the 21st century, and since voodoo and wind chimes are incompatible, hence 27/11 is a better date. Anyway, the encounter was going on for 3 days, so even 28 would've worked. In fact, when I called the CM, seeing how important my movie was, he asked if 1/12 was a more auspicious date, and that he could prolong the encounter till then if it was."

"Why did you choose to support this movie, Mr. CM?"
RGV: "As RGV said, it is an important movie. Has any other government ever supported a movie on terrorists? You should be thankful to us. We'll provide RGV with all the necessary videos, you see."

"Mr. Prime Minister, is all this shuffling in the cabinet because of a new sense of accountability in the government?"
MMS: "Yes, yes. Everyone is accountable in this government." (SG is seen pulling MMS to a side, and whispering something in his ear.) "Oh, I'm sorry, not everyone is accountable, but most people are, yes. Besides, RGV wants to use actual leaders in his movie, and you have to admit Chidu looks much more suave than Shiv."

"Mr. Advani, what did you think of RGV's movie?"
LKA: "Well, of course it is an important project. Also, RGV said he was not making any movie on Malegaon which would distract him from this movie, and he won me over instantly."

"Would you mind a little gossip, RGV, about the conclusion of your movie?"
RGV: "Heh, I never mind a little gossip. The conclusion will be a little twisted, different from the real events. After the commandos kill the terrorists, they will also kill all the reporters who made their job so dangerous in the first place."

"Mr. Advani, if we get back to reality for a little bit..."
LKA, MMS and RGV: "But only for a little bit..."
"Yes, yes. Who do you think is responsible for these attacks?"
LKA: "Of course this government is. They go easy on Muslims, they make up stuff like 'Hindu terrorists', and..."
MMS: "Excuse me. Remember the Parliament attacks?"
LKA: "That was a Congress-Muslim conspiracy!"

"Excuse me, gentlemen. But what is to be done about the security situation now?"
MMS: "Oh, a committee has been set up. We're looking into it."

"Mr. Advani, it seems this government was warned about the attacks six months ago."
LKA: "Hah. But we knew about the Parliament attacks twelve months prior."
MMS: "That's nothing. We knew about 26/7 two years before it happened."
LKA: "Ahh! We knew about the Malegaon blasts even before you got elected!"

Immediately SG and MMS jumped in joy and started the tango, but were interrupted by someone's phone ringing. It was Vilasrao. He said on the phone,"Oh, mi yetoy, mi yetoy." He bowed to SG and then to SP, whom we have neglected to mention. "Sorry, I am late for a Marathi cultural programme." He left in a hurry.

LKA and SG started throwing desi sandals at one another, while the PM waited for SG's order to pounce on LKA at a vulnerable moment.

Outside the building, people were throwing stones and shouting slogans for safety and security, and a new united India. The CM waved to them from among his Z+ security men, and left.

A City ravaged but alive

noreply@blogger.com (AnoNick) — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 16:41:00 +0000

Note: It's a rant, yeah, its a rant. I could try and collect my thoughts in order to make a more factual and informed post later. But I cannot guarantee it.

--------------

In some strange way, I suppose, it is just as well that the terrorists chose Bombay and not some other Indian city. At least, Bombay knows how to take misfortune and is capable of bouncing back.
-Vir Sanghvi

And so true it is. The citizens of Mumbai have faced more terror attacks than any major city in India. And yet, the very next day, they go back to their offices, and their jobs, knowing that the life of a city depends upon them. So much so, in fact, that it has driven some commentators to wonder whether Mumbai has a heart at all.

But today, to me, Mumbai feels different. No one could walk into a cafe in my city and shoot with an automatic rifle. No one could walk into the busiest, most beloved railway station in the city and shoot people at will. No one could put two world-famous hotels under siege for more than a day. And no coul'ved thought of disrupting Mumbai's life armed with enough ammunition to kill thousands, and not expected to be stopped.

But all that has happened. Clearly, there has been an intelligence failure.Some people have not done their jobs at protecting their country. And yet, even while fighting with terrorists armed with automatic rifles, our city's policemen have managed to save Mumbai. Our commandos have managed to rescue most of the people still alive after the first hour. They did not shy away from their jobs.

I was at TIFR that night, which is pretty close to Colaba, and pretty close to the sea. I was too scared to sleep alone in my usual lair at TIFR that night. I could not take my eyes off the news. Just that day, I had been to Colaba market. The next morning, I barely controlled puking when I saw photos of the carnage at VT. How am I ever supposed to feel safe again?

I know that the intelligence must have woken up by now. They need to learn, that is for sure. I do not know the answers, I do not know the questions. But I know what my mind tells me: If India is to feel safe again, we need to do something. Something about terror in India, something about it's home in Pakistan, and something about it's heart in the misguided preachings of mullahs. And if that is not done, everyone of us is to blame. For not doing enough, for not knowing enough, and for not speaking aloud enough.

What is the solution? I do not know. But I do know that India is a different country from this weekend. We are not going to be attacked like this. We will not go down without a fight. We will get you if you attack us. We will not shed innocents' blood, but we will not let the guilty go. I cherish my right to live. And so does India.

Endnote: I am sorry for the really rant-y post, but it just came out. It is my genuine emotion. If you want insight, you can go to Vir Sanghvi, Amit Varma, or my friend Amar . I am just an ordinary citizen, and all I know is: my feelings must be heard. And I must be informed, prepared, and yes, safe.

Oh, the frustration

noreply@blogger.com (AnoNick) — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 13:18:00 +0000

I usually don't post personal... so take this as pseudo-personal. In other words, a story. It's fictionality may be disputed, but anyway...

----------------------------

Imagine a typical classroom at school. It is filled with all kinds of kids: some naughty, some prudish, some studious, some jocks, some nerds. Now pick up the nerdiest children. They will typically be average scorers, introverted, won't know much about sex, and will usually be picked upon by the others. Now collect these guys together after their Bachelors, give them free housing (which, although a bit far, is probably ok), give them more than any decent graduate earns, and make them study stuff they love. That is, approximately, the Institute.

I say approximately because I dont know about Biology. Maybe the bio guys were just nerds like us wannabe physicists, maybe they weren't. One thing is for sure though: they came onto the earth with girls written into their fate. Girls who won't talk to boys of any other disci... oh, more on that later.

Neglecting bio for a moment (won't do much good neglecting them altogether, because then, nothing would happen in our lives, and, by extension, in this story), life at the Institute is pretty ok. You get to study what you want, and maybe dream of researching it further, in return for submitting to the whims of the crazy profs, their assignments, and their (gulp) exams. Ok, maybe life sucks. But, well, we're neglecting biology.

Why the obsession with biology, you might ask. It's a fair question. But the answer is obvious to the statistician. You're not one, I know, but I'll phrase this as lightly as I can: there are more girls per guy in bio than there are per ten guys in physics. And it's not like physics guys are not guys. Do you think we like such a skewed ratio? That we snicker at all the girls we see, behind their backs, because they're not smart enough to get into physics? No. We have been snickered at in school. We do not snicker at girls. We drool.

I think this... essay... story... whatever, is getting a bit sexist, or, if I may invent a new word for once, ~~objectificationist~~ objectifist. But it's a real problem we are facing here. Even physicists need girlfriends. It'd be fine if bio girls weren't so prudi... more on that later.

I hear ya. When is this 'later' that I speak so highly of, going to come? Is it like this essay, story, whatever, will suddenly be elevated to a new level of creativity? (Heh, you think this essay will become better? Snicker ).

Ok, let me cut to the chase, literally, but not too literally. You see, it's natural for a physics guy like me, to like a biology girl. Not a generic biology girl. But there's this particular girl, you see. Hmm, I need a name for her. (Fake name of course. You think I wouldn't have known her name by now?) We'll call her Crush.

Now, these bio girls, sometimes with bio guys, sit together at a single table at lunch and dinner and everything in between, so that it's virtually impossible to sit on the same table as Crush and try to talk to her. And then, one day....

(The writer apologises for the last ten minutes in which he did nothing but daydreamed about that day.)

Oh yeah, one day, at night... Ok. I get it. Restart.

Oh yeah, one night (purists... sigh), I stood in the usual queue, put my usual food on the plate, and as usual, looked around for an... well, there exists something, which I call a table scanning algorithm, for everyone. What you do is, you scan the canteen looking for tables which satisfy some criteria you've prioritised. My priorities are: biology girls, good friends, empty tables. Coming back to the 'story', I looked around. I saw Gaurab sitting alone on a table. I joined him, and chatted with him about the crappy coursework (this was before the midsems. Now we don't even talk about it.).

Then inexplicably, two bio girls (Crush one of them!) put their dishes on the table! I thought it was temporary, that they didn't want to hold their dishes while they searched for another table. But, nope. They sat down, and began to talk. I admit I do not know what they were talking about. I was even afraid to attempt eavesdropping, you see. I did not look in their direction, but continues chatting with Gaurab about (this is true) Himesh songs.

Then Ravi joined us at the table. At that stage in my crushed crush-on-Crush life (you knew I was going make this pun, right?) only Ravi and Achal really knew that I liked Crush. Gaurab, having finished his dinner, soon left. (I am not implying that Gaurab left because Ravi came. They are the best of friends.) A third friend of Crush, whom I shall call Fair (it's only fair to give her a name, because she's kinda important here), soon joined. (I am not implying that Gaurab came back disguised as Fair. I have seen them at the same place at the same time. I think.)

In the meantime, I'd started talking to Ravi about... something. I don't remember now, because I was all hazy. I knew Ravi would think I'm gutless if I failed to talk to Crush the one time we shared a dinner table. I remember just one thing: I said “I am useless, seriously”, in part as a pun, and in part because I really wasn't able to talk to her.

“Initiate, dude, initiate!”, I said to myself. I tried thinking about topics to say on. I decided the safest bet was to ask them...

“Which department are you from?”

This deserves an explanation, I know. Well, as you correctly point out, I KNEW which department they were from. But, I couldn't start by asking them an obsure question about biology, right? Maybe I could, but that would require me to KNOW biology. The safest thing to start a conversation, I thought, and still think, is to place each other in the Institute heierarchy.

I looked at the three of them for an answer, and out came (an almost reluctant) “Bio.” And this was from Fair. The other two didn't even look up, I think.

As you'd expect, here comes the part in the conversation where I wait for THEM to ask US something. Anything. They probably know we are physics guys, but they could ask a confirmatory question. They could ask how the canteen food was. They could ask us out to coffee the next morning. They could ask anything at all.

But, they did not. I sat there trying to resume the conversation with Ravi while they resumed theirs, but inside I was just frustrated at how uncommunicative girls could be. I was frustrated after the dinner too, when, while waiting for the bus to take us back, I vented out my frustration in long meaningful strings of words (I have Ravi and Nikhil as witnesses). They (the strings, not Ravi and Nikhil) went something like this:

“When I initiate a conversation, all you have to do is... you know, continue it! When I have broken the ice, can't you enjoy the icecream? (That came out a bit perv) When I have broken the ice, you must carry on the conversation!” (Gasp. And I fainted. When I came to, Crush and Fair were standing beside me and apologising for their snobbishness.)

Rrrrright. I did not faint. I fumed and fumed till I fumed no more. But the sentiments of the listeners generally ranged from “What a stupid way to break the ice!” to “You asked the three of them dude, when you wanted to talk to Crush! And she didn't even respond.” Did I say we don't snicker? I take that back.

The next day, I was impatient to tell Achal about the incident. Why? Because he was the only one person who would've agreed with me. I did doubt this somewhat, but if there was anyone who'd have felt that I was right and it was the girls' fault, I knew it was Achal. So, we were sitting in the DTP students room, and I told him what had happened. The important point in the conversation was this:

Me: “And, then they replied, 'Bio'. And now, they should...”
Achal: “They should respond, right?”
Me: “Exactly! No one agrees with me!”
Achal's further sentiments on the issue are also supportive :
“It was the fucking girls' fault.”
“It's not important how you break the ice! You break the ice, that's important!”

(This is probably the point in “Brokeback Institute” where Achal and I find each other so lonely and make out. But, ehrm.)

Well, the finals words from us on the issue are:

Why should Bio guys have all the girls?
You see, I wanna crush them. The bio guys, not the crushes... I mean, girls. Ehrm.

But then you can say: Why should Physics guys have al the pun?

A Webcomic, by me!

noreply@blogger.com (AnoNick) — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 14:15:00 +0000

Well, just go here: http://ipgs-comics.blogspot.com .

It's heavily xkcd-inspired. :) More in the first post there... (well, second post, actually, because it had to be on top, so I posted the intro after posting my first comic ;) ).

I want to get back to limericks too. :) Lets see...

IndiaTV tries to do LHC

noreply@blogger.com (AnoNick) — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 06:12:00 +0000

Note: The LHC is the "Large Hadron Collider", which is the biggest particle accelerator built yet, and it's going to switch on on Sep 10. It's made to discover new physics. Not create Black Holes that devour the earth.

Ooh, and one earlier post of mine, about IndiaTV craziness.

Ok, it's three days before the biggest experiment ever designed begins, and IndiaTV has got a late brainwave about it's dangers. It's apparently going to blow up the Earth, and IndiaTV doesn't want us to have more than 3 days notice. We are Fucked! (Apparently.)

I don't know how IndiaTV gets their hands on all kinds of conspiracy/doomsday theories, but man, they do. I wonder how they sleep at night. My friend here had to spend half an hour explaining to his grandparents that the Earth was not going to blow up because of a black hole created in a particle accelerator. There isn't a physics student in every home in India, sadly, so IndiaTV surely misled many, many Indians, who'll spend the next three days either in terror, or in fearful wait (or in orgies... hey, last three days!)

Well, I've always called IndiaTV the worst hindi news channel EVER (and that's saying a lot). When they're not spouting nonsense about aliens or skeletons of Gatotkachh being found (with a Hindu Scholar on air to explain how he could've gotten so big... apparently the Bio department comes under School of Hinduism these days... wait, does that mean all those Bio chicks will refuse to have premarital sex?... man, Bio chicks... oh, back to topic...) they're spouting nonsense about every doomsday theory that ever walked the idiots of Earth. So, here's an account of their opinion of the LHC, and why it's so stupid that rats will refuse to eat it...

(And thanks to my friend Achal for giving me an account of the show, and having spared me the pain of having to shout "fuck" 30 times in 10 minutes...)

"The Doomsday Device"

(Mwa)Hahahahahah! Physicists are either idiots or nihilists, according to IndiaTV. LHC, the "Great Machine" is going to start in 3 days, and who knows what will happen?! It is a machine, and machines are not to be trusted.

With a suitable "horror" tune playing in the background, the voice on TV comments as we are shown clips from various movies with floods, huge explosions, and other clips from various Hollywood movies (I think they have a special copy of "Independence Day", oh yeah, and of "The Day After Tomorrow", which they never have occasion to keep back on the shelf... "Oh, done with that ID4 copy for your Aliens show? Could I have it for my ' The Sex Ed Conspiracy' show."). To be fair, they took opinions of some scientists (special material, those scientists, to be ready to talk to IndiaTV...) , but they emphasised the Doom part more than anything else.

And what IndiaTV programme is complete without a contribution to the "stupidest lines ever said on TV" list? Here are two Achal remembers from the show:

"Yeh Mahamachine hain ya Mahadaanav?"
AKA "Is this a Great Machine or a Great Demon?"

The first confirmation of what I've always suspected! Scriptwriters of Ekta Kapoor also write for IndiaTV! In this case, those who wrote "Kahaani Humaare Mahabharat kii", surely produced this gem. Come on, the two sets are one... There cannot be so many awesomely stupid people in the same country. Those who work for Ekta Kapoor work for IndiaTV. QED.

"Agar Machine ka dimaag fir gaya toh?"
"What if the machine loses it's mind?"

And join your club?

I think the IndiaTV people have a special "Dr. Strangelove"-like prepared for them, just in case one of the hundred disasters they predict actually happens. Only this time, it won't be taking specimens of the best men and women on earth...

Ok, Enough Sarcasm for today. (No, right? You're enjoying this, eh? Well, there's always a post in the future about IndiaTV...)

The Straight Dope about the LHC then...

Ok, not THE Straight Dope. But as straight as you can get it: It's not going to create black holes. It isn't going to blow up the earth for Chris-sakes. Those physicists are not as dumb as you ~~think~~, they know how to design an experiment, and they are much, much smarter than you. LHC has been safety-tested, simulated, debated a hundred times over by people who actually know it inside out. And they have come to one conclusion: it's safe.

And, let's face it: the LHC is beautiful. It's humanity's biggest experiment ever, and hopefully we'll get answers to atleast some of our Big Questions after it's done. Here's stuff about the LHC. Cool explanation. And what chances does it have? Here is a rough and fun estimate (by Sean Carroll).

And yes, here and here are links explaining all that about doomsday. I'm not qualified enough, am I? But Phil Plait is. And he's cool. And he gives more links.

PostScript

BTW, I do KNOW that IndiaTV people are not really stupid, and they do this just to get more viewers and TRPs, and they're just taking advantage of the gullibility of those viewers. But I really, really would like to believe they're stupid and not cruel. Really, it's cruel, mean, and sad to take advantage of people like that. Just thinking about it makes me very, very angry, so I'd just think that they're idiots, not rogues.

BTW, This LHC doomsday thing is actually quite old. That's why I said "brainwave" at the start of the post. Not only do they spout incredibly blackheaded stuff, they do it really, really late.

Oh, you've probably heard this by now, and it's 30 years old in Internet years I guess, but here it is: LHC Rap.

PostScript 2

Amit Varma over at IndiaUncut has posted about this (and included a link to this post: yay!). There he links to a news piece about a girl commiting suicide citing the End of The World as the reason. I agree with him that there were probably (I hope) other reasons, although I can see why this media hype would push such people over the edge. It's just sad. I stand by what I said above about these channels exploiting the public mindset. News is there not to entertain, or mislead... but to educate. I hope these channels learn this soon.

Physics limericks!!

noreply@blogger.com (AnoNick) — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 13:16:00 +0000

I'm kinda busy at TIFR, but once, when bored during a lecture, I actually found to inspiration to write some limericks. ;) They're a little physicsy (ok, VERY physicsy), but heck...

Note: The first inspired the second. I think the second is the best, but the others are not bad either...(Ok, the third is very silly and weird... conceded).

There is an operator, nicknamed curl
He was once, desperate for a girl,
He approached a vector,
(But he hadn't checked her)
She rejected, being very irrotational!

Woe all marriages that end in divorce
Like additive inverses (the stuff of lores)
The electron and proton,
Beta and, nucleus forlorn,
The curl and the conservative force!

Hedgehogs won't change to bullets, from pricks,
Analog guys hate changing their electronics,
Romans did change the bust
From Julius to August,
Mathematicians don't prefer British units to 'Metrics'!

Do Comment!

What I-Day means to me

noreply@blogger.com (AnoNick) — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 09:04:00 +0000

Sure, another Independence Day post. There are probably thousands on the net today. Those who know me well will know that I am not a particularly patriotic person, in the sense that I won't go beyond a certain length "for the country", atleast not without reasoning on it and trying to think of the bigger picture.

But heck, I do feel for India, instinctively. India is important to me. When bombs kill people in Bangalore and Gujarat, it affects me more than bombings in London. When Bindra became the first Indian in 108 years to win an individual gold at the Olympics, I celebrated, even though I know that, say, Russia's medal tally in one Olympics is more than India's since 1900. When people all around me are joyous about today being I-Day, I too feel a bit of pride when a volunteer (at a railway station) pins a miniature Indian Flag to my shirt.

So, now, I'll try to reason about it.

OK, why am I not 'patriotic' as most people mean it? Let me see... Firstly, because I don't like to go with the "mob" feeling. (Ever since I read about the mob mentality in a school essay.) Not a very good reason, you say, but remember that nations can make war sorely because they can stir up this feeling of patriotism in their citizens to get them to approve it. Secondly, sure, I am born in India, but does that mean I should claim that India is the greatest nation on Earth, without ever having been to the other nations? Thirdly, sure, India has a great culture, and has been fortunate enough to be the land where many great men have walked. But what part do I have in that? Why should I feel proud of my country rather than just fortunate to be born here? Why should I not feel as strongly about Russell as about Gandhi?

So much for libertarianism. I know what you're thinking. I just don't get the point. But that's a response I always get, and believe me, since I do not get the point, I won't get it even if you point out to me how naive I am in not getting it, unless you point the point out to me. (Weird, but grammatically correct, sentence. I'm proud of it. :D)

Well, why should I feel patriotic? Patriotism is defined as "love for one's country". If a country has to be stable, it's people should feel united, and love it. Even if it's irrational, and wrong to do so. But I believe there are better reasons to love your country that it's history, it's religion, or it's supposed greatness. One of the reasons is simply that you live there. You know it and it's people. It is our window to the world, to knowledge, to our species. It's your chance to do something right, to stand up for truth, to improve the world, and to serve humanity. Every good nation is a platform for us to improve each other. It's possible to love the world even if your express it locally.

So, in conclusion, I love India. It allows me to learn, to critisice, to discuss, and to grow. I celebrate today because I love the world.

Tidbits

noreply@blogger.com (AnoNick) — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 01:25:00 +0000

Well, people, I'm back after two weeks, as my vacation comes to an end, and I prepare to join TIFR's department of Theoretical Physics. Been a golden year for me, this has... and now the grinding of studies starts again.

--------------------------------------------------------

I'm back with limericks! (After almost an year of no-lims). Why? Well, no inspiration, no time, etc. But:

I'm willing to confess I'm not poet at core
So sometimes my brain gets dried up, sore
But when I'm in form
In meter, rhyme, form
Just gimme a subject, I can make one more!

Heh. Two more in this post, later.

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If gibberish is not an indicator of profundity, why is The Speaking Tree so famous?

Homage to the Speaking Tree:

The Ultimate goal of man is woman. He is insignificant, and in this multidimentional universe, he cannot stand on his own two legs. It is absolutely essential that, for the well-being of his soul, man should sarcrifice himself. Only then can he become one with God, the Universe, and everything. 42.

From Physics to meta-physics, the ultimate aim of the sciences is becoming one with the absoluteness of the universe. Cherish your dreams. May your attain the supreme knowledge that resides in Brahma. May the force be with you.

Ok, I cannot write more gibbersh and pseudo-profundity. Maybe later, when I'm in a suitable mood, I'll update the above. ;)

------------------------------------------------

On another note, I've been reading Philosophy. Yes. Sigh. Almost finished that book.

Just thinking about it makes white matter grey
Because such lims just don't come on a tray
But to write a lim on such
Philos is a bit much
To add Russel, Plato, Hume, and, Nietzsche*?!

* Just mispronounce as Neat-zhey for once. For me.

Having finished with broad outlines of Philosophy, I'vee moved on to, yes, History.

Wars, Famines, Graves and Kings
Why doth he, of sad history sings?
But learn from it,
Of wisdom and wit,
Of hardened hearts and lovely beings.

Almost Victorian, that poem. It was supposed to end like a limerick, yes. Try again:

History teaches us, of lives and deaths,
Of Dates and Times, of nations' wreaths
But our time it sheilds
From swords and sheilds
Of lovely musings and stinking breaths.

Damn, just can't get the irony out of it. In fact, I do love history for it's irony.

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What are tit-men? (From the Straight Dope.) Love the joke at the end.

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I leave you, on a seriouser note, with Mill's Principle of Liberty. Not a witty end to the post, but heck, important. I also brought Mill's "On Liberty" yesterday.

That principle is, that the sole end for which mankind are warranted, individually or collectively in interfering with the liberty of action of any of their number, is self-protection. That the only purpose for which power can be rightfully exercised over any member of a civilized community, against his will, is to prevent harm to others. His own good, either physical or moral, is not a sufficient warrant. He cannot rightfully be compelled to do or forbear because it will be better for him to do so, because it will make him happier, because, in the opinions of others, to do so would be wise, or even right. These are good reasons for remonstrating with him, or reasoning with him, or persuading him, or entreating him, but not for compelling him, or visiting him with any evil, in case he do otherwise. To justify that, the conduct from which it is desired to deter him must be calculated to produce evil to some one else.

I'm almost a libertarian by now. :)